It was better that you weren't there. I made a... lapse in judgement, and you would have only come to harm if you were caught up in it.
[Which isn't nearly as reassuring as he thinks it sounds, but to him, it now makes perfect sense.]
And don't apologise for calling me here. I wanted to see you. I... [He hesitates, something sticking in his throat, continues.] I remember what you said at the beach, about how I remind you of your father. But I can't be that kind of person. A parent is someone who should always protect their children, no matter what. And I... I can't protect you from this war.
[He'd like to protect her just as fiercely as any of the children in the Citadel, but she's caught up in this just as much as he is. He couldn't be there for her in Godsblood any more than she could be there for him. For either of them, being at the Regent's beck and call will always have to come first, and his loyalty in that matter is now absolute.]
...All I can tell you is that I want to end the war as quickly as possible. I have the resolve now.
[That, in his mind, will end all this unnecessary suffering.]
[ Someone who protects their child no matter what. Gray supposes that's what a parent is supposed to be... though growing up, she came to think of her mother as simply someone to be obeyed. In the end, it seemed her mother thought very much along the lines as Barnaby. For better or worse. The lengths her mother went to and the lengths Barnaby may now go to — they scare her, however good the involved intentions may be.
Because she senses a shift in Barnaby. Does one simply find resolve after being taken away for traitorous behavior? Is it something Barnaby really found on his own?
Gray withdraws from him slowly, unable to wipe the look of worry from her face. ]
Mr. Barnaby, you don't have to protect me... that way. I'm an Aion too.
[ For what that's worth. Her value now is in how she participates in this war. There's no room for her to become someone's burden.
She looks up at him and pushes down the things she'd like to ask — what was done to him, really? — to instead pull out a small tin of homemade cubed fudge from her cloak. ]
A-Anyway, I brought this for you. I hope you feel better soon.
[Barnaby lets her go as she draws away, something indecipherable in his expression. Maybe she's right, and it would be wrong to coddle her. He should see her as another of the Regent's tools, just as he is, rather than someone to be nurtured and protected, like the children in the Citadel.
He knows in practical terms she's right, that he should come to terms with that fact, but what Gray does next makes that impossible. He takes the tin and opens it, surprised.]
Did you make these for me? [His voice is quiet. For all his efforts over the years to close his heart off, he has always been easily swayed by sentiment -- a weakness, perhaps, of his Legacy. Sure enough, this little gesture is enough to prise its way in, and it stays lodged there. For the first time in weeks the ghost of a smile tugs at his expression, a lingering afterimage of the kind of happiness he was capable of before.
He replaces the lid on the tin, handling it carefully, like a precious object.]
Thank you very much. I'll let you know how they are when I try one, later.
[ Not knowing when — or if — Barnaby would return, she can't say she made them on anything but wishful thinking. And with everyone beaten down from their missions, she thought it would be nice to be able to share something even as simple as sweets.
She's glad he seems to appreciate it, even if he hasn't tried it yet, and she gives him a smile in return for his fainter (more damaged) one. ]
It was something my mother made for me when I was little. We didn't have access to very much, so she'd make these instead. —Oh, but don't feel you have to eat them all just because of that.
[ Fudge can be pretty sweet, and she doesn't even know if Barnaby has much of a sweet tooth. ]
In any case... I think I'll stay here and practice a little.
[ Whether he wants to stay after all or get his well-deserved rest, she leaves it up to him. ]
[He does have a sweet tooth in moderation, and that this has significance for Gray as a connection to one of her parents is all the more reason to take the time to enjoy them. He'll have to find a way to thank her for such a thoughtful gesture, later.]
Thank you again. I'll leave you to train undisturbed, then. [He feels like he's already caused her enough concern that hanging around and forcing himself to train through his exhaustion would be a distraction to her. That said...]
I suppose you may have heard by now that we're expecting an attack on Achamoth. Do you think you'll be prepared, for when the time comes?
[They might have to fight for their lives, depending on the seriousness of the invasion, and this will be the first time the fighting breaks out from minor skirmishes into a more direct war. Gray may be stronger than she looks -- he just hopes she'll be able to maintain her nerve.]
[ She blinks at the shift in topic, though she supposes it's natural that he should wonder. She doesn't know exactly what to expect — even the skirmishes she'd been in back home, as chaotic as they were, were relatively contained affairs — but by now she's at least gotten a sense of how to adapt. ]
You don't have to worry about me. I may not look like it, but I've been in a few battles before. More importantly... please try not to overextend yourself when the time comes.
[ He looks bad enough right now that she can't be completely sure that he'll be recovered in time. It's probably futile to ask him to take things easy, but it doesn't hurt to try. ]
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hundredpower) wrote2022-05-01 08:29 pm
no subject
[Which isn't nearly as reassuring as he thinks it sounds, but to him, it now makes perfect sense.]
And don't apologise for calling me here. I wanted to see you. I... [He hesitates, something sticking in his throat, continues.] I remember what you said at the beach, about how I remind you of your father. But I can't be that kind of person. A parent is someone who should always protect their children, no matter what. And I... I can't protect you from this war.
[He'd like to protect her just as fiercely as any of the children in the Citadel, but she's caught up in this just as much as he is. He couldn't be there for her in Godsblood any more than she could be there for him. For either of them, being at the Regent's beck and call will always have to come first, and his loyalty in that matter is now absolute.]
...All I can tell you is that I want to end the war as quickly as possible. I have the resolve now.
[That, in his mind, will end all this unnecessary suffering.]
no subject
Because she senses a shift in Barnaby. Does one simply find resolve after being taken away for traitorous behavior? Is it something Barnaby really found on his own?
Gray withdraws from him slowly, unable to wipe the look of worry from her face. ]
Mr. Barnaby, you don't have to protect me... that way. I'm an Aion too.
[ For what that's worth. Her value now is in how she participates in this war. There's no room for her to become someone's burden.
She looks up at him and pushes down the things she'd like to ask — what was done to him, really? — to instead pull out a small tin of homemade cubed fudge from her cloak. ]
A-Anyway, I brought this for you. I hope you feel better soon.
no subject
He knows in practical terms she's right, that he should come to terms with that fact, but what Gray does next makes that impossible. He takes the tin and opens it, surprised.]
Did you make these for me? [His voice is quiet. For all his efforts over the years to close his heart off, he has always been easily swayed by sentiment -- a weakness, perhaps, of his Legacy. Sure enough, this little gesture is enough to prise its way in, and it stays lodged there. For the first time in weeks the ghost of a smile tugs at his expression, a lingering afterimage of the kind of happiness he was capable of before.
He replaces the lid on the tin, handling it carefully, like a precious object.]
Thank you very much. I'll let you know how they are when I try one, later.
no subject
She's glad he seems to appreciate it, even if he hasn't tried it yet, and she gives him a smile in return for his fainter (more damaged) one. ]
It was something my mother made for me when I was little. We didn't have access to very much, so she'd make these instead. —Oh, but don't feel you have to eat them all just because of that.
[ Fudge can be pretty sweet, and she doesn't even know if Barnaby has much of a sweet tooth. ]
In any case... I think I'll stay here and practice a little.
[ Whether he wants to stay after all or get his well-deserved rest, she leaves it up to him. ]
no subject
[He does have a sweet tooth in moderation, and that this has significance for Gray as a connection to one of her parents is all the more reason to take the time to enjoy them. He'll have to find a way to thank her for such a thoughtful gesture, later.]
Thank you again. I'll leave you to train undisturbed, then. [He feels like he's already caused her enough concern that hanging around and forcing himself to train through his exhaustion would be a distraction to her. That said...]
I suppose you may have heard by now that we're expecting an attack on Achamoth. Do you think you'll be prepared, for when the time comes?
[They might have to fight for their lives, depending on the seriousness of the invasion, and this will be the first time the fighting breaks out from minor skirmishes into a more direct war. Gray may be stronger than she looks -- he just hopes she'll be able to maintain her nerve.]
no subject
You don't have to worry about me. I may not look like it, but I've been in a few battles before. More importantly... please try not to overextend yourself when the time comes.
[ He looks bad enough right now that she can't be completely sure that he'll be recovered in time. It's probably futile to ask him to take things easy, but it doesn't hurt to try. ]