[ By now, Gray has received multiple reports on the grapevine regarding Barnaby's misadventures in Venera, followed by his apparent disappearance. Accordingly, she reaches out with multiple tentative messages, which only get lost in the ether. She begins to fear the worst; the Regent has made no bones lately about how seriously they're beginning to take the war effort.
It's only by chance that Gray learns of Barnaby's return. She overhears the idle chatter of servants whispering that they've glimpsed him again at long last.
So again, tentatively, Gray reaches out to him via communion. ]
[Barnaby's been keeping to himself, heeding the Regent's advice to recover before the next battle, and partly because he simply doesn't want to talk to most of his fellow Kenoma.
Gray is, at least, an exception. Sort of -- he opts to reply through text rather than risk sharing any unwanted thoughts or feelings via communion.]
[ A response... Gray should be relieved, but the way he responds immediately sets off alarms. First off, the text rather than a reciprocal "voiced" reply; second, the casual nature of his words as if he hasn't been missing. For a moment she has the absurd thought that this might be an impostor, but there's no mistaking that she reached out specifically to his shard, so it must be him.
Perhaps he can feel her confusion and anxiety through their connection, but she doesn't think to hide it via text as he's doing. ]
Um, I've been... alright.
[ More alright than many of their fellow Kenoma. ]
But... have you been alright? No one's been able to contact you...
[ Because you sabotaged the mission. Because you were taken away for punishment. ]
[One of the advantages of text is that he can take the time to formulate a reply, and he stops to consider how to answer. How much does Gray know? Howl had figured out what had happened, of course he had, but would that be true for the rest of the Kenoma who went to Godsblood? Perhaps they'd be busy coming to terms with what happened on their own missions, or preoccupied with the Pleroma prisoners.
Eventually he settles on simply telling her, albeit indirectly, what happened.]
I needed some time away to reflect on my recent decisions, and now I have returned. I'm sorry if my absence worried you.
[ Time to reflect... That would be fine answer if she could see him in person. But she senses that there are things he doesn't want to tell her, and that in itself is more cause to worry. There's very little chance that he was let off with just a slap on the wrist.
But asking too directly wouldn't be good form. After a moment's hesitation, she tries a more roundabout route. ]
Will you be at the training grounds today? I could use someone strong to practice with.
[If she were anyone else, he'd politely decline and end the discussion. But it's Gray, and if she is worried, he owes her this much. Usually, he's a regular at the training grounds, too, so it would look all the more strange if he refused.]
[ A thread of tension loosens with his agreement. A part of her expected him to excuse himself. ]
Yes, that's alright. I'll see you then.
[ She'll prepare a few things before heading off. She arrives early, too high-strung to wait around, and busies herself with cleaning some of the equipment until Barnaby arrives. ]
[He shows up on time as agreed, and the reason for his reticence in showing himself at all becomes obvious. He looks haggard and drawn, a fact no amount of fixing his hair or hiding his bruised wrists under long sleeves can obscure. He's had time to rest, since Howl all but dragged him back to his room to recover, but he's still on the mend. Unlike their previous interactions, he also doesn't smile when he spots Gray.]
Ah-- there you are. Apologies if I kept you waiting.
[He's surveying her in turn, though he can't see any obvious injuries on her, it's difficult to tell with the number of layers she wears.]
Before we begin, do you have any injuries I should be mindful of? [Godsblood was weeks ago now, he was told -- it feels much, much longer ago to him -- but he's still concerned for her all the same.]
[ When she sees Barnaby, it's like a knife twist to the gut. From his physical state to his subdued demeanor, he looks so different from the last time she saw him — and it drives home all the things he's been through while she wasn't looking, how much he's suffered on his own. Even if there's no blood on him now, the sight of him is enough to force her to recall Abel and Himeka beaten and bloody — though even those two still had a fierce ember of perseverence in their eyes. Bunny seems like he's survived — but nothing else.
In the meantime, he'll see that she appears to be in good condition, already recovered thanks to magic and magical energy. A couple days was all she needed.
In response to his question, she finds that her reply gets stuck in her throat. So instead she shakes her head too firmly. She should be glad to see that he's alive and in one piece, but instead her fear for him only deepens. ]
Mr. Barnaby...
Forgetting that she ostensibly called him here to train, she approaches him without a training weapon in hand. If he doesn't move away then she'll move to wrap her arms around his middle, not too quickly or too tightly lest he be the one with hidden injuries. ]
[Barnaby goes still for a moment, not because of any injury, but because he's taken aback. He expected everyone to hate him on his release, had assumed only the Regent would be the one to show him any modicum of forgiveness, but Gray seems like she was never angry at him at all, only concerned for him, just as Howl was. He's sure he doesn't deserve their kindness.
Nonetheless, he wraps his arms around Gray in return, one hand resting gently atop her hood. The Regent may have frozen his heart in the places where he once held the capacity for hope, but part of him still wishes there was a way to keep Gray out of this conflict altogether.]
[ His return hug, while as gentle as she might expect from him, for some reason feels terribly fragile to her. She squeezes him a little more tightly as if she could pack the pieces that make him up into a firmer, more whole shape.
She shakes her head into his chest, dismissing his apology out of hand. She can't imagine what he has to apologize for. ]
I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you.
[ Whether she means in Venera or earlier in Achamoth, she isn't clear, but she feels it should have been both. ]
And I'm sorry I made you come out like this... You should probably be resting.
It was better that you weren't there. I made a... lapse in judgement, and you would have only come to harm if you were caught up in it.
[Which isn't nearly as reassuring as he thinks it sounds, but to him, it now makes perfect sense.]
And don't apologise for calling me here. I wanted to see you. I... [He hesitates, something sticking in his throat, continues.] I remember what you said at the beach, about how I remind you of your father. But I can't be that kind of person. A parent is someone who should always protect their children, no matter what. And I... I can't protect you from this war.
[He'd like to protect her just as fiercely as any of the children in the Citadel, but she's caught up in this just as much as he is. He couldn't be there for her in Godsblood any more than she could be there for him. For either of them, being at the Regent's beck and call will always have to come first, and his loyalty in that matter is now absolute.]
...All I can tell you is that I want to end the war as quickly as possible. I have the resolve now.
[That, in his mind, will end all this unnecessary suffering.]
[ Someone who protects their child no matter what. Gray supposes that's what a parent is supposed to be... though growing up, she came to think of her mother as simply someone to be obeyed. In the end, it seemed her mother thought very much along the lines as Barnaby. For better or worse. The lengths her mother went to and the lengths Barnaby may now go to — they scare her, however good the involved intentions may be.
Because she senses a shift in Barnaby. Does one simply find resolve after being taken away for traitorous behavior? Is it something Barnaby really found on his own?
Gray withdraws from him slowly, unable to wipe the look of worry from her face. ]
Mr. Barnaby, you don't have to protect me... that way. I'm an Aion too.
[ For what that's worth. Her value now is in how she participates in this war. There's no room for her to become someone's burden.
She looks up at him and pushes down the things she'd like to ask — what was done to him, really? — to instead pull out a small tin of homemade cubed fudge from her cloak. ]
A-Anyway, I brought this for you. I hope you feel better soon.
[Barnaby lets her go as she draws away, something indecipherable in his expression. Maybe she's right, and it would be wrong to coddle her. He should see her as another of the Regent's tools, just as he is, rather than someone to be nurtured and protected, like the children in the Citadel.
He knows in practical terms she's right, that he should come to terms with that fact, but what Gray does next makes that impossible. He takes the tin and opens it, surprised.]
Did you make these for me? [His voice is quiet. For all his efforts over the years to close his heart off, he has always been easily swayed by sentiment -- a weakness, perhaps, of his Legacy. Sure enough, this little gesture is enough to prise its way in, and it stays lodged there. For the first time in weeks the ghost of a smile tugs at his expression, a lingering afterimage of the kind of happiness he was capable of before.
He replaces the lid on the tin, handling it carefully, like a precious object.]
Thank you very much. I'll let you know how they are when I try one, later.
[ Not knowing when — or if — Barnaby would return, she can't say she made them on anything but wishful thinking. And with everyone beaten down from their missions, she thought it would be nice to be able to share something even as simple as sweets.
She's glad he seems to appreciate it, even if he hasn't tried it yet, and she gives him a smile in return for his fainter (more damaged) one. ]
It was something my mother made for me when I was little. We didn't have access to very much, so she'd make these instead. —Oh, but don't feel you have to eat them all just because of that.
[ Fudge can be pretty sweet, and she doesn't even know if Barnaby has much of a sweet tooth. ]
In any case... I think I'll stay here and practice a little.
[ Whether he wants to stay after all or get his well-deserved rest, she leaves it up to him. ]
[He does have a sweet tooth in moderation, and that this has significance for Gray as a connection to one of her parents is all the more reason to take the time to enjoy them. He'll have to find a way to thank her for such a thoughtful gesture, later.]
Thank you again. I'll leave you to train undisturbed, then. [He feels like he's already caused her enough concern that hanging around and forcing himself to train through his exhaustion would be a distraction to her. That said...]
I suppose you may have heard by now that we're expecting an attack on Achamoth. Do you think you'll be prepared, for when the time comes?
[They might have to fight for their lives, depending on the seriousness of the invasion, and this will be the first time the fighting breaks out from minor skirmishes into a more direct war. Gray may be stronger than she looks -- he just hopes she'll be able to maintain her nerve.]
[ She blinks at the shift in topic, though she supposes it's natural that he should wonder. She doesn't know exactly what to expect — even the skirmishes she'd been in back home, as chaotic as they were, were relatively contained affairs — but by now she's at least gotten a sense of how to adapt. ]
You don't have to worry about me. I may not look like it, but I've been in a few battles before. More importantly... please try not to overextend yourself when the time comes.
[ He looks bad enough right now that she can't be completely sure that he'll be recovered in time. It's probably futile to ask him to take things easy, but it doesn't hurt to try. ]
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hundredpower) wrote2022-05-01 08:29 pm
communion, shortly after bunny's return...
It's only by chance that Gray learns of Barnaby's return. She overhears the idle chatter of servants whispering that they've glimpsed him again at long last.
So again, tentatively, Gray reaches out to him via communion. ]
... Mr. Barnaby?
no subject
Gray is, at least, an exception. Sort of -- he opts to reply through text rather than risk sharing any unwanted thoughts or feelings via communion.]
Hello, Gray. How have you been?
no subject
Perhaps he can feel her confusion and anxiety through their connection, but she doesn't think to hide it via text as he's doing. ]
Um, I've been... alright.
[ More alright than many of their fellow Kenoma. ]
But... have you been alright? No one's been able to contact you...
[ Because you sabotaged the mission. Because you were taken away for punishment. ]
no subject
Eventually he settles on simply telling her, albeit indirectly, what happened.]
I needed some time away to reflect on my recent decisions, and now I have returned. I'm sorry if my absence worried you.
no subject
But asking too directly wouldn't be good form. After a moment's hesitation, she tries a more roundabout route. ]
Will you be at the training grounds today? I could use someone strong to practice with.
no subject
I can be there in an hour. Is that all right?
no subject
Yes, that's alright. I'll see you then.
[ She'll prepare a few things before heading off. She arrives early, too high-strung to wait around, and busies herself with cleaning some of the equipment until Barnaby arrives. ]
no subject
Ah-- there you are. Apologies if I kept you waiting.
[He's surveying her in turn, though he can't see any obvious injuries on her, it's difficult to tell with the number of layers she wears.]
Before we begin, do you have any injuries I should be mindful of? [Godsblood was weeks ago now, he was told -- it feels much, much longer ago to him -- but he's still concerned for her all the same.]
no subject
In the meantime, he'll see that she appears to be in good condition, already recovered thanks to magic and magical energy. A couple days was all she needed.
In response to his question, she finds that her reply gets stuck in her throat. So instead she shakes her head too firmly. She should be glad to see that he's alive and in one piece, but instead her fear for him only deepens. ]
Mr. Barnaby...
Forgetting that she ostensibly called him here to train, she approaches him without a training weapon in hand. If he doesn't move away then she'll move to wrap her arms around his middle, not too quickly or too tightly lest he be the one with hidden injuries. ]
no subject
Nonetheless, he wraps his arms around Gray in return, one hand resting gently atop her hood. The Regent may have frozen his heart in the places where he once held the capacity for hope, but part of him still wishes there was a way to keep Gray out of this conflict altogether.]
I'm sorry. [He says, finally.]
no subject
She shakes her head into his chest, dismissing his apology out of hand. She can't imagine what he has to apologize for. ]
I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you.
[ Whether she means in Venera or earlier in Achamoth, she isn't clear, but she feels it should have been both. ]
And I'm sorry I made you come out like this... You should probably be resting.
no subject
[Which isn't nearly as reassuring as he thinks it sounds, but to him, it now makes perfect sense.]
And don't apologise for calling me here. I wanted to see you. I... [He hesitates, something sticking in his throat, continues.] I remember what you said at the beach, about how I remind you of your father. But I can't be that kind of person. A parent is someone who should always protect their children, no matter what. And I... I can't protect you from this war.
[He'd like to protect her just as fiercely as any of the children in the Citadel, but she's caught up in this just as much as he is. He couldn't be there for her in Godsblood any more than she could be there for him. For either of them, being at the Regent's beck and call will always have to come first, and his loyalty in that matter is now absolute.]
...All I can tell you is that I want to end the war as quickly as possible. I have the resolve now.
[That, in his mind, will end all this unnecessary suffering.]
no subject
Because she senses a shift in Barnaby. Does one simply find resolve after being taken away for traitorous behavior? Is it something Barnaby really found on his own?
Gray withdraws from him slowly, unable to wipe the look of worry from her face. ]
Mr. Barnaby, you don't have to protect me... that way. I'm an Aion too.
[ For what that's worth. Her value now is in how she participates in this war. There's no room for her to become someone's burden.
She looks up at him and pushes down the things she'd like to ask — what was done to him, really? — to instead pull out a small tin of homemade cubed fudge from her cloak. ]
A-Anyway, I brought this for you. I hope you feel better soon.
no subject
He knows in practical terms she's right, that he should come to terms with that fact, but what Gray does next makes that impossible. He takes the tin and opens it, surprised.]
Did you make these for me? [His voice is quiet. For all his efforts over the years to close his heart off, he has always been easily swayed by sentiment -- a weakness, perhaps, of his Legacy. Sure enough, this little gesture is enough to prise its way in, and it stays lodged there. For the first time in weeks the ghost of a smile tugs at his expression, a lingering afterimage of the kind of happiness he was capable of before.
He replaces the lid on the tin, handling it carefully, like a precious object.]
Thank you very much. I'll let you know how they are when I try one, later.
no subject
She's glad he seems to appreciate it, even if he hasn't tried it yet, and she gives him a smile in return for his fainter (more damaged) one. ]
It was something my mother made for me when I was little. We didn't have access to very much, so she'd make these instead. —Oh, but don't feel you have to eat them all just because of that.
[ Fudge can be pretty sweet, and she doesn't even know if Barnaby has much of a sweet tooth. ]
In any case... I think I'll stay here and practice a little.
[ Whether he wants to stay after all or get his well-deserved rest, she leaves it up to him. ]
no subject
[He does have a sweet tooth in moderation, and that this has significance for Gray as a connection to one of her parents is all the more reason to take the time to enjoy them. He'll have to find a way to thank her for such a thoughtful gesture, later.]
Thank you again. I'll leave you to train undisturbed, then. [He feels like he's already caused her enough concern that hanging around and forcing himself to train through his exhaustion would be a distraction to her. That said...]
I suppose you may have heard by now that we're expecting an attack on Achamoth. Do you think you'll be prepared, for when the time comes?
[They might have to fight for their lives, depending on the seriousness of the invasion, and this will be the first time the fighting breaks out from minor skirmishes into a more direct war. Gray may be stronger than she looks -- he just hopes she'll be able to maintain her nerve.]
no subject
You don't have to worry about me. I may not look like it, but I've been in a few battles before. More importantly... please try not to overextend yourself when the time comes.
[ He looks bad enough right now that she can't be completely sure that he'll be recovered in time. It's probably futile to ask him to take things easy, but it doesn't hurt to try. ]